A story seldom told

This is the story of the Goddess in Heaven and the Devil/Evil One.

Before the Bird Flu Break-out:

The Goddess in Heaven who was creating a wonderful world free of bird flu virus,of peace and love when She noticed the Devil/Evil One rubbing hands gleefully together. She asked, “Why are you doing that?,” and the answer was,  “I am already done playing with my bird.”

“What do you mean done playing with your bird?,” the Goddess in Heaven inquired.

“You are so amazingly beautiful. What i am saying is, I am doing what i am supposed to do. I am already planning how I will ORGANIZE it.”

The Devil/Evil One then disappeared.

Before the Swine Flu Break-out:

The Goddess in Heaven who was creating a wonderful world of peace and love, and free of Swine flu virus when she noticed the Devil/Evil One rubbing hands gleefully together. She asked,  “Why are you doing that?,”  and the answer was,  “I am already done playing with my bird and I am already planning how I will ORGANIZE it.”

“And what was that sticky thing in your hand?”, the Goddess in Heaven asked.

“Ah this one,” the Devil/Evil One a bit surprised, “this is hand sanitizer… Yes, hand sanitizer.”

“Sanitizer, what hand sanitizer? You bastard!!!’

“Did I not tell you many times that You are so amazingly beautiful, and besides, I am What I am. The Devil/Evil One!” then disappeared.

Happy Halloween everyone.

About [some] wives and women…

Here are some jokes about wives and women. I summarized them from various e-mail messages I received these past few days. Also, I added some of my personal observations but I won’t let you know which are mine to “protect myself” from my wife, my daughter and my mom. They have this kind of alliance on matters that concern women, you know. ha ha ha.

When you are through reading all these, you will realize that some of them are true and almost all of them are very true, I GUESS. LOL

PEACE!

Sometimes it happens this way

One morning during rush hour, a guy stands in a street corner, holds a placard that reads:

Most people who passed by, seeing his clean appearance thought (???) he snapped, lost it and gone nuts. Some even dared to tell him “Man, you are crazy!” He shouted back, “No Way!”

Some people took pity on him, others presumed he is hungry, gave him food. He refused and said, “I am not hungry! Can’t you see, I am not begging for food!”

Be crazy: It’s easy!

Yes, I wrote them right after the smokes of New Year 2008 cleared allowing the fresh and cool wind of Cavite to touch my happy face while I stared at those marvelous stars painted all over that great and wide canvass over our heads. It was a great feeling, knowing and being in a place you called home.

Yes, it feels good because I still do not need that much amount of zinc to help my brain remember those words and non-sense I scribbled on that piece of bond paper which I titled The List. It was a long list that contained everything that I said I would finish all at one time in the first two months of the year. It was my attempt of sort to set a world record. LOL

Here are some (or few) of them.

Finish writing that book! (i’ve got the balls you know…)

. . . not knowing that in the absence of these other colors, there wouldn’t be a profound beauty called rainbow.

Complete my sketch book and the Kartoon series.
Make a lot of money from stock investment!!!
Play tennis everyday.
Vacation, three times a year.
Work less.
Sleep more.
Be irresponsible.
Be crazy.
And the long list goes on.

Be wise kiddo

Please explain this to me

I found this from Brodiz blog. This made my day today.

• While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles with it.

• Now, while doing this, draw the number “6″ in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction!!!

Try doing this many times as you want. I tell you the foot just can’t or won’t go against the hand. Ha ha ha!

Nikita, will you please explain this to me?

Related Post:

• Loosen up or we die

Loosen up or we die

I strongly believe that one way of understanding people is knowing their importance in this world.

In doing so, we may live in peace and harmony [at least] for an hour, just a day or a year.

Tell me what you’ve got or shut up! LOL

Let me begin this post with a big HA HA HA, or a BIG LOL (in internet lingo, LOL means Laugh Out Loud, which during my first exposure to chatting I thought I was told ULOL, which means more than crazy or insane in Tagalog . LOL)

You might have noticed (if you are one of the many or one of the few regular visitors here, LOL) that for several days now, I have not updated or posted anything on this blog.

The reason, LOL, is that I told myself to Shut up and Back off. And so I did! But blogging has this attraction comparable to that of Mr. Darcy for Miss Elizabeth Bennet.

Of course, Ms. Jane Austen, the author of Pride and Prejudice could have changed everything but she did not because that is what she wanted. Right? So, I am posting something (if this is really something, LOL) here because this is what I wanted and this is what I am attracted to do now.

Looking at the headlines, Mikey (or mickey mouse, whatever) Arroyo said, De Venecia is hiding under my mother’s skirt. Oh yes! Is there something wrong with that?

Ad Lib: Tawa tayo

I have been busy these past few days. Busy which means too lazy to blog (according to my vocabulary). Although I made 5 drafts since my last post, I just do not feel posting them now. The reason, I am too busy.

Enough of my useless talk. Let me share these jokes from friends who were kind enough to “e-mail” me. These helped me get through the day with a smile.

Here they are:

The thief

A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.

When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied, “Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings. I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.”

(And you probably thought I didn’t have DeGaulle to publish this. Well, I figured I had nothing Toulouse.)

* * * *

Seniors giving birth

With all the new technology regarding fertility, recently a 65-year-old woman was able to give birth to a baby. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, her relatives came to visit.

May we see the new baby?” one asked. “Not yet,” said the mother “I’ll make coffee and we can visit for a while first.”

Thirty minutes had passed, and another relative asked, “May we see the new baby now?”

“No, not yet,” said the mother.

After another few minutes had elapsed, they asked again, “May we see the baby now?”

“No, not yet,” replied the mother.

Growing very impatient, they asked, “Well, when can we see the baby?”

“WHEN HE CRIES!” she told them.

“WHEN HE CRIES?” they asked. “Why do we have to wait until he cries?”

“BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM … OK?“

My wife said, DON’T and NO!

This post has gone from a long rant to comedy to an outright order from my wife. Too bad, I made a mistake of calling her to inform that another columnist from the same company of ma lu has written something about OFW’s that is off tangent and full of hula haka hala ma lu fern andez and in defense of her.

Who is and what is it this time?
A guy with bigote whose name is e mil ju rado.
Again, who?
e mil ju rado. Can’t you hear me?
I heard you. You said e mil ju rado. Right?
That was right. Go check this out.
Okay, I am on it now?

After few minutes of silence, she blurted:

I like this lolo bigote guy! I like his article. He is the man that every wife should have.
What? How come? You are kidding me, right?
Am I? You heard it right? I like this man.
No, you don’t!
Have you read and understood his article fully?
Of course I did! That is why I called you, to inform you.
He is right. You must be educated.
What? Why?
Will you please read these to me aloud (from his article):

I tried to take the issue with the attendant but my wife prevented me from doing it.

… but again my wife prevailed upon me to just be quiet.

What? What is the connection?
He did not do the right thing but he did the best thing. He restrained himself because his wife said so. So, that is it. You must be educated that way. And I am telling you now, DON’T. and NO!
And what is that DON’T and NO supposed to mean?
Well, I am helping you to start again and to remember what I have taught you before on how to behave properly. Gets mo? So, put down that phone and go to bed. I DON’T want to hear from you that your monthly remittance has gone short because of telephone bills. NO, I will not accept that for an excuse.

So, this comes to pass. The longest post I ever did in my whole blogging career (???) will not see light because my wife prevailed up on me. The worst thing is she finally found a convenient excuse to justify something else – I need to be educated! No more rant because she said, DON’T and NO!

After I put down the phone, I cannot help myself but shout, “DON’T NO ME ha!”