Neither truth nor confusion

In life, fantasy and reality sometime do mix up. The result is neither truth nor confusion. The actual meaning depends entirely on the state of mind and emotion. How your mind and heart interpret them sums up the reaction in actual words, body language or in other visible form.

My vacation technically ended when I set foot on the grounds of the Ninoy Aquino International Airport last Nov. 12, 2006, 8:30pm and I am now thousand of miles away from my kids and wife. However, strange as it may sound, I still feel it never ended.

This vacation taught me a lot of things about life, family and of course about my children.

Simply put, my vacation is great! To use “was great” to describe it is inappropriate. The experiences and knowledge learned go beyond boundaries and time. They will always be present in my heart and mind until the end or until I get the Alzheimer’s or heart disease or both.

I’d like to tell you more about them – the experiences and things I learned but, I am sorry to disappoint you. I will not share any of them here . Not this time. Probably some other time. I am selfish at times and this time I prefer to be one.

Before this post gets nowhere and you realize that I am writing non-sense and which many of my friends always say “within the borders of the abstract and the absurd”, I would like to share one thing that I know many of you can relate.

Hindi pa ako sumisikat, laos na agad.

When my children were still very young, people used to say, “and so you are the child/children of Hapon“. Now that they are almost adults, the people who I met say “so you are the father of Maya or Iwel or Nikita“. This means that long absence makes  an obscure or unknown person out of me. Ha ha ha…. Anyhow, I am extremely proud of my children and I am very thankful to God for giving me the chance to be their father, to my wife for taking me as is, her husband and to my children, for being the father that I am to them.

To end this up, I guess, this song of Bob Dylan – The time they are a-changin speaks of the real truth and the confusion better than this post.

To all of you, thank you so much. I mean it. This is true, not the one I am referring to as neither truth nor confusion.

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15 Responses to “Neither truth nor confusion”

  1. 1 beth November 16, 2006 at 10:13 am

    I’m glad about your vacation Rolly… or should I say your “connection” with your family??? Treasure it! 🙂

  2. 2 myepinoy November 16, 2006 at 10:57 am

    Thank you. I will. Just wondering, what those question marks mean?

  3. 3 Sidney November 17, 2006 at 2:25 am

    It must be hard to leave your wife and children behind. I can easily understand you are quite emotional about it.

    One of the series I want to make next year is about the Filipino OFW’s. It is quite challenging since I would like to make the people understand what it takes to leave your family and your country. And of course I can’t go to Saudi to track you down… 😉

  4. 4 myepinoy November 17, 2006 at 3:42 am

    Sidney: It is always the case everytime you leave your family.

    The series that you want to do is great. We are millions spread all over the world. Do not wish to come here in my place, you won’t get much picture for your site. Baka mag-end ka sa kulungan or somewhere else when taking pics.

    Anyhow, the airport I guess is the best place to see the likes of me. LOL.

    Happy weekend.

  5. 5 bw November 17, 2006 at 4:48 am

    Hopefully you can also bring your family to visit you in Saudi for a month or two so you can have more time with them.

  6. 6 melai November 17, 2006 at 5:49 am

    Isa yata sa nag-add sa insecurities ko before e yung wala akong narinig na kahit konting magandang salita from my father before, puro mga negative things about me..mga kahinaan ko. Pero one time nagkwento si nanay isang gabi bago sila matulog ni tatay ang sabi niya …”maswerte na rin daw sila sa mga anak nila”. Kahit na hindi niya sinabing maswerte na rin siya sa akin bilang anak niya malaking bagay na sa kin yun. By reading your post, I must say na you and your children are both lucky to have each other. Nakikita mo kung gaano ka kaswerte sa kanila bilang ama nila at yung pagiging proud mo sa kanila as your children …. malaking boost na sa kanila yun bilang anak mo …. hmmnnn labo ko yata intindihin mo na lang lol! I just hope they know how thankful you are for having them.

  7. 7 myepinoy November 17, 2006 at 9:01 am

    BW: Thank you for the suggestion. I already thought about this but schedules are the problem. My kids are all in college.

    One more thing it is too expensive and too complicated bringing them all here for a month. Since two of them are above 18, my company won’t shoulder the expense plus I need to find a place to house them. Segregation of sexes also applies to residential units. Currently the building where my flat is, is a bachelor’s building.

    So, what I am doing now is that if I have the time I go for short vacation. Ganito talaga ang trade-off ng isang OFW. Mahirap, but we have to live with it.

    melai: This is quite a revelation. Makulay talaga ang buhay mo. AND I AM PROUD OF YOU TOO! Totoo ito. Tulad ng sabi ko, This is true, not the one I am referring to as neither truth nor confusion.

  8. 8 beth November 17, 2006 at 11:02 am

    Iniisip ko nga bakit nga tatlong question marks nilagay ko… sometimes my hands have a mind of their own when they touch the keyboards. 🙂 Anyway, i was thinking about your earliest post on the stock market and your sudden plan to go home, just felt that sometimes circumstance push you to do something you don’t normally do for a purpose and that the current purpose was to bond with and feel the love of your family. Well alam ko na close kayo ng family mo kaya maybe it was more for you than for them…. medyo magulo ba? para siguro you have something to carry you through your days there?
    O mukhang malabo pa din kaya paalam na lang muna ako. Take care and God bless!

  9. 9 ipanema November 17, 2006 at 11:43 am

    Great post. And no it didn’t go elsewhere, it made sense – a lot of it actually.

    It’s nice to read that you had a swell time with your family. Our children make us proud parents and they for sure feel the same way. That’s nice of you to thank your wife and your children for everything what family means.

    me :

    Thank you so much not for this comment alone but for being a good mother to your kids too. I am sure you are one of the best mothers in the world. The world will go nowhere if there are no good mothers like you, mywife and my mother.

    Pwede magpa-ampon sa yo. LOL.

    Salamat talaga.

  10. 10 myepinoy November 17, 2006 at 11:46 am

    Beth: The message is very clear. I never thought of the idea that it was for me than for them until you said it here. You made me think deeper about this. Ha Ha ha.

    You are right when you said about circumstances. To make it clearer, I believe it was more of God’s handiwork than any other thing.

    I am not a religious person but I do believe God and His angels are bloggers too. You can see His and His angels blogs and comments everywhere. He never stop talking to us. I know, I did one post about this before (Touched by Him, touched by an angel)

    Thank you so much.

  11. 11 brodiz November 17, 2006 at 1:56 pm

    joy, happiness, bliss — not just positive and lifting feelings — you’re right; they’re neither truth, nor confusion — they just are…

    thanks for reading the entires in my blog… i don’t know why… with due respect, i believe that with your age and experience are far greater knowledge and wisdom than what i have and what i am. nevertheless, i am grateful for the exchange of thoughts and insights, for connecting to life. thanks and God Bless!

  12. 12 myepinoy November 17, 2006 at 4:19 pm

    Brodiz: Why I am reading your entries?

    My simple answer is the same as that of my response to Beth’s comments. I wrote about this before. Let me quote here part of my entries titled Touched by Him,…He prompts and redirects you to read those blogs. I guess it is His way of communicating and comforting us at times when we needed Him most.

    Let me leave you with this: “Live your life from your heart. Share from your heart. And your story will touch and heal people’s souls.” — Melody Beattie

    PS. I am not old yet. It just so happened that I had the freedom to live my life early, in the edges,on top and below the earth. In short, I took both the easy and the hard roads of life early.

  13. 13 manilenya November 20, 2006 at 3:56 am

    makulay ang buhay?
    pero come to think of it.
    yeah nito ko nga lang narealize kung gano kakulay ang buhay ko
    nung matuto akong magblog 🙂

  14. 14 Jayred November 22, 2006 at 12:43 pm

    Good to know that you had a great time with your family in RP. Although it is always hard to say good-bye.

  15. 15 JoeyBurns September 1, 2007 at 2:32 am

    Wow, there is some really nice info here.
    I’ll definitely come back soon to see everything.
    Way to go! 😉


    myepinoy says, you are very much welcome anytime. Thank you for dropping by.

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