The House of Charings

The comedy err the trash show in the Philippines Congress should have been a hit if only the main and those shady characters rehearsed their lines properly. Had the producers of this show hire an acting coach; it could have been a very exciting one.

Well, we cannot fault many of them. Most if not all of them are clowns. Clowns do not say a word, right? And besides, these men are focused on the cow that gives them milk. The milk that transports them to place different from ours (THE LAND OF MORDOR KNOWS NO HONOR NEITHER LAW NOR CUSTOM HOLDS). The milk that makes them persons of very short memory (Who are you? Does pork barrel milk comes out from your boobs or from under your skirt?) So how on earth can we expect them to deliver? It is therefore easy or natural for them to just save their faces without making it very obvious for us, helpless and dumb spectators, to see. Tutal naman, most of their colleagues have forgotten their lines as well, and so it is best for them to just say what others were saying or simply, sing the chorus line. At least they did something stupid rather than being outright idiotic.

Indeed, it is very very easy for fake actors to just sing the chorus line or the refrain coz there aren’t much effort to do it. One just have to decide which one (Why did they make it hard and expensive when they could just say YES, NO or ABSTAIN.):

I am a friend of JDV and a friend of Gloria, so I say, ABSTAIN!
I am a friend of JDV and his family so I say NO!
I am a friend of Gloria and her family so I say YES!

But wait; let me ask my piso back from Rep. Dinangalen (or angalin ba last name noon?) HA HA, this guy is funny! He tried his best to be dramatic by asking the family members, the congressmen, I mean, “Bakit wala ba kayong mga kasalanan?” which could be translated into English as, who is not a dirt rag (trapo)?

Yaks! Sir, Honorable Ladies and Gentlemen, we already know who you are! We know that there are no saints in the house and we know as well that marami sa inyo belong to the Five Families, whose main purpose is not to represent your constituents but to save and preserve your own big Asses and that this House we call Congress are nothing but one big, connected friends and families of Bonano, Gambino, Colombo and Luchesse. Have I forgotten other family?

All the while, I was thinking that this would end up to something different. But at the end, JDV, instead of becoming the greatest squealer of all time ended up singing an all too familiar song, sour graping crap song. Well, it is understandable (perhaps) for an old man who just came out from the skirt of Mikey’s mom. It could have been very dark in there and the lights outside dazzled him. What more, the guns of his supposed godsons, friends and supporters were all pointed at him. Too late they say, “Your time has come. Now is our time to see what is inside that mom’s skirt. So get out!”

According to my unreliable sources, the show last night was supposedly like that of The One Ring Musical based on J. R. R. Tolkien’s classic epic-fantasy, The Lord of the Rings and these lines should have been delivered by the clowns, oh sorry, actors I must say.

From The Confrontation :

GANDALF

SPARE ME YOUR INDIGNATION
YOUR MASTER’S POW’R MAKES YOU TOO BOLD.
THE LAND OF MORDOR KNOWS NO HONOR
NEITHER LAW NOR CUSTOM HOLDS.

STILL NO ONE HAS THREATENED YOU
FROM US YOU’VE NAUGHT TO FEAR
‘TIL ERRAND DONE OR WISDOM COME
TO SAURON. HIS END DRAWS NEAR.

MOUTH OF SAURON

SO WE FIND A SPOKESMAN HERE AT LAST.
THE FRAIL GREYBEARD, WE FEARED YOUR TIME HAD PASSED.
WE HAVE HEARD OF YOU AT WHILES,
AND THY WAND’RINGS O’ER THE MILES.
YOUR PLOTS AND MISCHIEF DELIVER YOU AT LAST.

WELL MASTER GANDALF YOU’VE GONE TOO FAR.
YOUR FOOLISH WEBS, NO MORE MENACE THAN THE STARS.
FOR SOON YOU WILL MEET YOUR FATE
AT THE FEET OF SAURON GREAT.
THESE TOKENS WILL REVEAL JUST HOW LOST YOU ARE.

Unfortunately JDV had something different in mind. He thought that the above lines were too short; that it would not make any impact on the people in the gallery; that he wanted to impress upon these people that he is a hard-boiled actor. So he decided to sing the Rico J Puno piece instead.

Memories, noong tayo’y mag syota pa,
Namamasyal sa Luneta ng Walang Pera, oh.

The speaker recalled what he did for Gloria and how he helped her to stay in power but cautious enough to say he “will tell all in detail at the right opportunity.” Was he waiting for Gloria to step in and say to her sons and followers “back-off!”

Bakit kasi pinahaba pa nya ang linya at di na lang sinabi, Mga INGRATO! Wala kayong UTANG na Loob! Kung sabagay, matandang trapo sya so magaling manumbat tulad ng pagpapamukha nila lagi sa mga botante na sila ang nagpagawa ng ganon o ganito at parang sa bulsa nila galing ang pera. he he he.

This crazy show ended without a bang because the actors are all trapos. so this post must end as well coz there wasn’t anything interesting there to tell.

Before I end, let me say congratulations to you sir! While the Corleones are hunting you, the guys from Tattaglia family would surely welcome you.

I wish JDV could sing this song for me. Would you?

From The One Ring Musical

WITH HIS WORDS

EOWYN

WITH HIS WORDS
HE SAYS “YOU ARE JUST A WOMAN.”
EVEN HIS EYES,
SAY, “YOUR WORLD IS IN THIS HALL.”
ALL MY LIFE
I HAVE LONGED TO SEE AN OMEN
THAT SAYS I CAN BE MORE
THAN I’VE BEEN BEFORE.
IF I’M LESS I AM NOTHING AT ALL.

WITH HIS WORDS
‘HE-SAYS’ “YOUR LIFE’S ALREADY CHOSEN.”
EVEN HIS EYES
SAY, “THAT YOU MUST WAIT YOUR TURN”
ALL MY LIFE
IS A MOMENT THAT’S BEEN FROZEN
WHERE TOMORROW’S NEVER COME
WITH THAT SHARP EXCITING HUM
BEING MORE IS A RIGHT I HAVE EARNED.

WHY MUST I LIVE MY LIFE IN A CAGE,
FILLED WITH A LONGING? FEELING THE RAGE
THAT I’LL ONLY BE FREE, I CAN LET THE HOUSE BURN
WHEN MEN GO TO WARS FROM WHICH THEY WON’T RETURN.
WHEN ALL THE GLORY IS WON,
WILL ANYONE KNOW ALL I HAVE DONE?

WITH HIS WORDS,
HE SAYS “THERE IS NO PLACE BESIDE ME.”
EVEN HIS EYES
SAY, “YOU MUST WALK A STEP BEHIND.”
ALL MY LIFE
I’VE NEVER ASKED A MAN TO GUIDE ME
IF HE’D JUST REACH OUT HIS HAND,
TOGETHER WE WOULD STAND.
TO MEET BRAVELY WHATEVER WE FIND.

BUT I CANNOT LIVE ON WISHES AND DREAMS
I MUST LIVE OUT IN THE WORLD
FIGHTING FOR GLORY COUNTERING SCHEMES
WITH MY OWN BANNER UNFURLED!

IN THIS WORLD
WHY MUST MY LIFE BE JUST A SHADOW
‘NEATH THESE SKIES
WHERE SUN SHINES BRIGHT BUT DOES NOT WARM?
IF MY LIFE
IS ACCEPTING WHAT I HAD, THOUGH
IT WAS NOT TOO LATE CHANGE IT,
RE-ASSESS AND RE-ARRANGE IT,
I SHALL EVER FEAR FACING THE STORM.

IN HIS WORDS
HIS FRIENDS HEAR THEIR CALL TO GLORY.
IN HIS EYES
THEY SEE THE MAN THEY’D HOPE TO BE.
ALL MY LIFE
I DREAMED HIS WOULD BE MY STORY.
I WILL FIND A WAY TO MAKE IT
AND DARE ANYONE TO TAKE IT.
I WILL KNOW WHERE I STAND,
WITH A SWORD
IN MY HAND
AND HIS WORDS WILL AT LAST SET ME FREE

(The above lyrics are taken from The Tolkientrail.com, The One Ring Musical http://www.tolkientrail.com/theoneringmusical/welcome.shtml)

6 Responses to “The House of Charings”


  1. 1 bingskee February 6, 2008 at 5:01 pm

    ha ha ha this is very funny, rolly! but nonetheless, i think it is best that JDV finally is out of speakership. overstaying na siya. wala namang nagawang ganoong ka impressive. depressive, meron he he meron bang ganitong word? ‘neweiz, the house of congress is truly a stage of morons err clowns. or perhaps it is best to describe that the house is a house of puppets.

    sabi nga ng isang commentator sa isang radio station, kung totoo ang mga isinisigaw ng ilang congressmen about anomalies, why the hell are they still there? kung matino silang tao, they could have opted to resign or leave the house, di ba? di naman kasi kasikmu-mura ang mga nangyayari kaya nga lang mas matindi ang kaway ng half a million. ha ha

  2. 2 azd February 8, 2008 at 6:11 am

    ha ha ha this is very funny, rolly! but nonetheless.
    have a nice day !

  3. 3 bw February 8, 2008 at 11:46 am

    It is fun to see these politicians moralizing and chatising each other🙂 I’m curious if it has to do with attitude change or damage control😦

  4. 4 barrycade February 8, 2008 at 1:18 pm

    i ran into your blog from bw’s. gee, this post is hilarious. i watched a portion of that congress comedy; a portion only because i couldn’t stomach it any longer. funny, but hurtfully sad for this country🙂

  5. 5 SexyMom February 8, 2008 at 10:44 pm

    hilarious! i am amazed at the humor and wit which seem to come out naturally in posts like this one and the many others that you wrote.


  1. 1 We Are The ‘Fuckiest’ News Ever « myepinOy’s bLOG Trackback on October 18, 2011 at 8:15 pm

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