About [some] wives and women…

Here are some jokes about wives and women. I summarized them from various e-mail messages I received these past few days. Also, I added some of my personal observations but I won’t let you know which are mine to “protect myself” from my wife, my daughter and my mom. They have this kind of alliance on matters that concern women, you know. ha ha ha.

When you are through reading all these, you will realize that some of them are true and almost all of them are very true, I GUESS. LOL


The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. – Henny Youngman

Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.” The husband replied, “Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice.”

Then there was a man who said, “I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; then it was too late.”

It is not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They have experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

Just think, if it were not for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

I have not spoken to my wife in 18 months – I do not like to interrupt her.

My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. Therefore, I got myself two girlfriends.

A woman was telling her friend, “I made my husband a millionaire.” “And what was he before you married him?” asked the friend. “A billionaire.” she replied.

A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it since the thief was spending much less, than his wife did.

A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” The father replied, “I don”t know son, I”m still paying.”

Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa, a Man does not know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, “There was water in the carburetor.” I asked her, “Where’’s the car?” She replied, “In the lake.” – Henny Youngman

A man placed an ad in the classifieds: “Wife wanted.” The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same: “You can have mine.”

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask for whatever he wants, but his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets. The man thinks for a moment and says, “Okay, give me a million dollars and beat me till I’m half dead.’

The most effective way to remember your wife’’s birthday is to forget it once.

8 Responses to “About [some] wives and women…”

  1. 1 mimi August 12, 2008 at 4:09 pm

    “Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa, a Man does not know his wife until he marries her?
    Dad: That happens in every country, son.”

    bhweheheheh. natawa talaga ako.. ^_^

    me says: as always, one best foot forward before marriage. LOL

  2. 2 bw August 13, 2008 at 2:44 am

    Based on my experience, all of true haha 🙂

    me says: lol

  3. 3 milet August 13, 2008 at 7:48 am

    ano to discrimination against woman ? lol.

    the last one crack me up. oh i think i am a succesful woman based on what i read here. kidding. lol.

    me says: Konti lang…. Coming from you, i agree 101%

  4. 4 lerms August 13, 2008 at 9:06 am

    That’s what you call crazy little things about marriage… 🙂

    me says: correct!

  5. 5 bingskee August 13, 2008 at 5:17 pm

    i also have these in my emails. i also have a version for husbands. he he dapat pantay ha ha

    me says: talking of one sided view. As far as i know, we husbands do not talk things that will incriminate us… LOL

  6. 6 annamanila August 13, 2008 at 10:30 pm

    John Milton wrote Paradise Lost when he got married and wrote Paradise Regained when he was widowed.

    I don’t know if my Lit professor was joking when she said that.

    Ayan ha, hindi ako napikon.

    me says: Some works of John Milton are available at google book search: The Poetical Works of John Milton, Paradise Lost and Paradise Regained

  7. 7 Sexy Mom August 14, 2008 at 1:18 am

    oh, there you are with your PEACE! so am leaving you to enjoy those universal jokes, as most MEN do.

    but here’s something that you must already know, and most men know:

    The only one of your children who does not grow up and move away is your husband.


    me says: True. that is why they or many go astray… lol

  8. 8 Jayred August 14, 2008 at 12:36 pm

    These jokes don’t apply to me (LOL). Go ask my husband.

    me says: ha ha ha. I will.

    katulad ito sa sagot sa tanong na, mahal ka ba ng asawa mo? or mahal mo ba ang asawa mo? My usual answer, go ask my wife…. lol

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