Here are some jokes about wives and women. I summarized them from various e-mail messages I received these past few days. Also, I added some of my personal observations but I won’t let you know which are mine to “protect myself” from my wife, my daughter and my mom. They have this kind of alliance on matters that concern women, you know. ha ha ha.
When you are through reading all these, you will realize that some of them are true and almost all of them are very true, I GUESS. LOL
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. – Henny Youngman
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.” The husband replied, “Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice.”
Then there was a man who said, “I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; then it was too late.”
It is not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.
Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They have experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
Just think, if it were not for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
I have not spoken to my wife in 18 months – I do not like to interrupt her.
My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. Therefore, I got myself two girlfriends.
A woman was telling her friend, “I made my husband a millionaire.” “And what was he before you married him?” asked the friend. “A billionaire.” she replied.
A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it since the thief was spending much less, than his wife did.
A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” The father replied, “I don”t know son, I”m still paying.”
Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa, a Man does not know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, “There was water in the carburetor.” I asked her, “Where’’s the car?” She replied, “In the lake.” – Henny Youngman
A man placed an ad in the classifieds: “Wife wanted.” The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same: “You can have mine.”
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask for whatever he wants, but his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets. The man thinks for a moment and says, “Okay, give me a million dollars and beat me till I’m half dead.’
The most effective way to remember your wife’’s birthday is to forget it once.