myepinOy’s bLOG

Friday, 09 May 2008

For a very long time, I have not seen a real woman cry in front of me.

The feeling is heavy. It is so unbearable to see those tears dropping continuously from her eyes down to her pale cheeks. Her silent sob is deafening. It melts me.

I thought I am used to this because of Pinoy drama and MMK (Maalala Mo Kaya) over TFC but I was totally mistaken.

Perhaps I was away too long from this reality. I tell you, it sent shivers to my bone.

Perhaps it is because I know her husband and knowing that a friend, an officemate is in comatose completes the real drama and the chill.

Perhaps it is the realization that life is very short. (Kanina lang!)

Perhaps it is really hard to see a woman cry.

Sunday, 11 May 2008

On Mother’s Day, my friend left – not in another country as an OFW but in another form to a place where we all must go.

“Between the one you love and the one who loves you, who would you choose?”

I heard this line from TFC (The Filipino Channel) while brushing my teeth.

With my age now, of course I know whom I would choose.

But oh, please do not ask me again. I might change my mind and take them both or take them all. Ha ha ha.

You, who would you choose? Oh I am sorry, I repeated the question.

***

Thanks goodness. I finally did it. No, not choosing them both but posting something here. HA HA HA!

Mandy Moore - Only Hope

There’s a song that’s inside of my soul.
It’s the one that I’ve tried to write over and over again
I’m awake in the infinite cold.
But you sing to me over and over and over again.

Continue reading ‘This one is for you’

I wonder how many million workers or employees and professionals say that they hate their work.

I wonder how many of them, still set their alarm clock to make sure they would get up on time everyday and rush to work that they hate.

I wonder how many entities are there in the human bodies aside from I, me and myself.

I wonder if the I, me and myself behave differently from each other or they do the same things all the time.

I wonder why some people do their exercise [jogging] while the place [they jog] is covered with thick dust because of heavy sandstorm.

I am just wondering, please do not mind me.

You don’t need a weather man to know which way the wind blows. - Bob Dylan

Sabi ng tatay ko
Gwapo ako
Sabi ng nanay ko
Of course
Sabi ng asawa ko
Talaga!
Sabi ng mga nagging girlfriends ko
Yuck!
He is so
You know.
Sabi mo magaling ako
Sabi ko
Yan ang opinyon mo
Sabi nila
Sira ulo ko
Sabi ng marami
Sino ba sya?
Sabi ng mundo
Does he exist?
Pero alam nyo
Di nyo naman talaga ako kilala
Sino nga ba ako?
Tama ba tatay ko
Tama ba nanay ko
Tama ba asawa ko
Tama ba nagging girlfriends ko
Tama ba sabi nila
Tama ba sabi ng karamihan
Tama ba sabi ng mundo
Tama ba na di nyo ako kilala
Siguro nga

Sa huli
Sino nga ba ako?
Kahit ano ang sabihin nyo
Kung sino ako
Alam ko na yon
Noon pa
Matagal na
Dahil ako
Ay hindi
Superhero
Di rin pwede maging Darna
Kasi straight ako
Kung sino man ako
Ang alam ko
Ako ay tao
Sa puso
Sa isip
Sa salita
At sa gawa.

Continue reading ‘Just because I am …’

I have come to the realization that my shadow is sometimes bigger than me especially on a hot sunny day.

The same thing goes with my ego. It grows big or small depending on the situations or circumstances and it takes the form of me or the shadow of myself and not the true essence of who I really Am.

A shadow is after all a shadow and ego is after all an ego no matter how I look at them.

So if you catch me bigger or smaller than who I AM, that probably is my shadow or my ego at its worst.

The point is that most of what we feel and think we conjure up for ourselves in our heads,.. - Anthony de Mello SJ

Earlier in the day yesterday, I had a telephone conversation with someone abroad. She told me that she called the other day (Wednesday) and was informed that I was already out. She said that the impression she got from what she was told that it’s like I had a “DO NOT DISTURB” sign because “I am playing tennis.”

She also told me that “you are probably a good tennis player” for which I humbly replied, “Not really. I know some basics and lots of bad habits but surely I can play around [darn] good. Ana Ivanovic could lose a match with me if she loosened her grip on her racket.” Of course this is untrue and will never happen, just exaggerating.

She said, “The next time I’ll be there I would like to play with you. Then I’ll know what basics you are good at and those bad habits you said you have. Pretty interesting to discover how you play around ha. Don’t you think so?” She laughed.

I said, “Well let us see how you can play around with me. ha ha ha.”

She said, “Come on DOM (drugged old man). ha ha ha”

Then we were on to official business.

On my way home, I was thinking of what I said about my tennis skills, “some basics and lots of bad habits and surely can play around.” I realized that with regards to our life and spirituality, in one way or the other “many if not all of us have only some basics and lots of bad habits and are always playing around.”

He said, “Seek and you shall find, knock and it shall be opened unto you, ask and you shall receive.” Did we all buy this idea? Perhaps yes, perhaps no.

When a new product is introduced thru an advertisement that says, “Here is a new thing that opens new doors and satisfies your earthly desires, come and you have it.” we buy the idea just like that. So we seek it, we longed for it. We knock its other out so we can have it.

Funny or sad but this is happening somewhere and somehow.

At the end of it all, it seems that we always carry the sign, “Please DO NOT DISTURB!“

Here is a poem written by my son. Our children, oh our children, they can teach us a lot of things, even about life.

STILLNESS by Maya

I stand in stillness, though the noise of the world roars
I stand in stillness, though the beliefs of the world echoes
I stand in stillness, though the voices of people are piercing
I stand in stillness, though the actions of the people are devastating
I stand in stillness, though their intentions were noble and good
I stand in stillness, alone, I listen, I listen, I listen
I stand in stillness, for I found that even my mind is pure of madness
I stand in stillness, for greater than that madness, I saw peace
I stand in stillness, for there within the realm of silence I found life
I stand in stillness, unbreakable, healed, yielded.
I stand in stillness, for there I found a space that is stillness,
eternal, infinite, ethereal, formless, pure, perfect, love, life….